Christmas Pie
by The-Scripturient
Summary: It's Christmas Eve, and Hiyori is sneaking downstairs to steal some of the delicious pie that Kofuku baked, but her mission is hindered when she finds Yato doing the exact same thing! How could one slice of pie cause so much trouble? Christmas oneshot with some Yatori but mostly just cute fluff


Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house, not a creature was stirring... Except for Hiyori.

She crept down the staircase as silently as she could, wearing nothing but a nightgown and a pair of thick socks. Her tail swished behind her anxiously, setting a soft purple glow against the walls.

She turned the corner towards the kitchen, and took a deep breath. The smell of the extravagant Christmas dinner that they had made still permeated the air, and she closed her eyes and smiled. It smelled as delicious as it had tasted.

She tiptoed inside as quietly as she could, ready to steal some of the chocolate and vanilla pudding pie that Kofuku had baked. There was still a half a pie left, and Hiyori had stayed awake so that she could sneak downstairs and eat a bit more.

Her eyes widened, and she ducked back around the corner, peeking out and gazing at the bright light that had suddenly appeared, lighting up the kitchen. It almost looked like...

"The fridge light..." Hiyori breathed. Someone else was there with her! She briefly thought about retreating back upstairs, but it was too late.

The person who was in the kitchen was coming back upstairs, a plate of pie in his hands and a sly grin half-hidden behind his long, purple-black hair.

"Yato!" Hiyori hissed. "What are you doing!"

He jumped, the pie coming dangerously close to falling off of the plate. His eyes widened as they readjusted to the dark, and he blinked.

"Hiyori? What are you doing down here?" He whispered, glancing down at the pie and then back at her.

She rolled her eyes. "Why were you stealing pie?" She asked, ignoring the fact that she herself was going to grab some.

"I... Uh... It tasted good?" He shrugged. "It's not like Kofuku said anything about not eating the rest.

"Yes, but Daikoku-san did." She pointed out. She was only going to take a small piece, barely noticeable, but the slice on Yato's plate was even bigger than the piece he had eaten earlier.

He stiffened. "I..." He glanced around. "I was going to blame it on Yukine..." He admitted, smirking proudly at his brilliant idea.

Hiyori whacked him. "That's stupid!" She yelled, albeit quietly. "Well, now there's a witness, so you can't." She crossed her arms.

Yato looked at the pie longingly, and then an idea occurred to him. "If you don't tell anyone, I'll give you half of this." He held out the plate towards her, and she gazed at it longingly, her tastebuds tingling.

"I..." She fidgeted. "That's not right! We should put it back." She looked back at the pie, which had just the right amount of whipped cream on it. "I do really want the pie, though..."

Yato grinned. "That's all I needed to hear." He said, then held out his hand. "I'll give you half, and I won't blame Yukine," He said, and her face lit up hopefully. "for five yen."

Her face fell. "You cheapskate!" She accused, but she fished in her pocket and brought out the coin anyway. "Here, take my money, you tightwad." She threw it at him, and he caught it.

"Your wish has been heard loud and clear." He grinned, and pulled out a knife out of nowhere. He cut the pie in half, then sat down cross-legged and offered the plate to her.

"We're eating it right out in the open?" She whispered in horror, terrified by the thought of someone, especially Daikoku, catching them.

Yato nodded. "Don't worry. I'll blame sleepwalking." He said slyly. Hiyori rolled her eyes.

"Joint sleep-eating? I don't think Daikoku-san will buy that." She said, but she slid down next to him nonetheless.

Her slice of pie sat on the plate, calling out to her tantalizingly. She reached out, and took it in her hand. Yato, meanwhile, was digging in, making obnoxious eating noises and he wolfed down the pie.

She took a bite, and sighed in relief as the delicious taste filled her mouth. She took another bite, and couldn't help the moan of pleasure as she swallowed.

A light flicked on upstairs, and she heard Daikoku's gruff voice say, "Did someone just moan?"

Hiyori froze mid-bite, and Yato looked at the stairs in horror as loud footsteps sounded from the top.

"We're dead." He whispered. "Hiyori, why did you have to moan?"

She wiped the whipped cream off of her lip, and glanced at him apologetically. He sighed and leaned forward, wiping the rest off with his hand, making her blush, and then helped her to her feet.

She didn't know why she was blushing as he led her from the front room and outside to the porch. "Climb up to the bedroom." He told her. "I'll be right behind you."

She nodded, thankful for the low lighting that hid her red face, and jumped up into the tree, and through the window, careful not to step on Yukine, who was sleeping on the floor.

Yato followed, and the two climbed under their blankets, closing their eyes and regulating their breathing, trying to look like they were asleep.

The door creaked open, and Daikoku stepped in. He looked around for a few minutes, looking for signs of the pie-eaters, but no one stirred.

He left, and Yato and Hiyori breathed a sigh of relief in unison.

The next morning, when Yato and Hiyori walked downstairs, rubbing their eyes and yawning, they found Kofuku and Daikoku holding the pie tin and looking at the plate of partially melted pie that Yato had left on the floor last night. Yukine sat on the floor, his arms crossed, and he rolled his eyes at the two as they walked downstairs.

"Did you guys eat the pie last night?" Kofuku asked, looking at them sadly. Yukine turned towards them.

"Don't deny it. None of us did it." He added.

Yato remained stony-faced at the accusations, but Hiyori, who was a terrible lier and couldn't keep a straight face.

"I-I'm sorry! It was just so good! I couldn't help myself!" She pointed at Yato accusingly. "He ate a huge slice, and was going to blame it on Yukine-kun!" She accused. He gasped, affronted.

"I was not!" He lied as Yukine stood up and began yelling.

Kofuku took one look at Hiyori's guilty expression and jumped across the room, hugging the brunette and squeezing her tightly.

"Hiyorin! Don't feel bad! It was store bought!" She yelled. Hiyori blinked.

"Wait... I thought you baked that!" Hiyori cried. Kofuku let go and rubbed her neck bashfully.

"Kofuku can't bake to save her life." Yato said, ignoring Yukine's verbal abuse. Kofuku crossed her arms.

"You're mean, Yatty." She pouted. "But he's right. I'm a terrible cook." She admitted. "I bought it down at the supermarket. It was on sale!" To prove her point, Daikoku emerged from the kitchen, holding three more boxes of microwaveable pies, each with a Mrs. Smith logo on the front.

Hiyori sighed. "So we're not in trouble?" She asked.

"You aren't!" Kofuku said cheerfully. "But Yatty was very mean to try to pin it on Yukki."

Yato froze, and Yukine smirked as Kofuku continued. "Now he gets to wash the dishes!"

"Serves you right, you crappy god." Yukine crossed his arms and smiled.

Hiyori sighed, but she was smiling. There was never any calm around these people.


End file.
